Worst Historical Movies Ever: A Critical Perspective

When it comes to historical movies, filmmakers often face the challenging task of balancing artistic license with historical accuracy. However, some movies fail so spectacularly that they stand out as prime examples of how not to depict history. Let us explore these disappointing films and why they are considered among the worst historical movies ever made.

The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc

The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc is one of the historically inaccurate movies that has faced harsh criticism from historians and professors. This film, starring Hedy Lamarr as Joan of Arc, is a glaring example of a movie that distorts historical facts. So offensively inexact that it is often advised to students to avoid it entirely. Not only does this film provide an inaccurate portrayal of Joan's life and beliefs, but it also takes liberties with her geopolitical context, casting her in a way that simply does not align with the historical record.

Joan of Arc was a complex figure, a national heroine looked upon with deep reverence in France, while reviled by the English. The movie fails to capture this duality and instead resorts to a narrative that is at best simplistic and at worst propagandistic. This, along with its numerous anachronisms and anachronistic portrayal of events, makes it one of the worst historical movies to ever grace the screen.

The Story of Mankind: A Multifaceted Fiasco

The Story of Mankind, which was the final film featuring all three Marx brothers—Groucho, Harpo, and Chico—though not together, is another abysmally bad historical movie. The film stars Hedy Lamarr as Joan of Arc, Dennis Hopper as Napoleon Bonaparte, Peter Lorre as Nero, and Harpo Marx as Isaac Newton. This combination of historical figures, when brought together in a single film, is as bizarre as it is historically unfounded.

While the film has its entertainment value, the historical inaccuracies are glaring. The mix of real historical figures into a narrative that spans centuries is jarring and confusing. For instance, the involvement of figures like Napoleon and Roman Emperor Nero in a story centered around Joan of Arc is historically inappropriate and frivolous. Nonetheless, the film's offenses against historical accuracy are numerous, making it an unwatchable disaster for history aficionados.

The Battle of the Bulge (1965)

The Battle of the Bulge (1965) is another film that fails to capture the essence of its historical subject matter. While a well-intentioned piece of historical drama, it ultimately falls flat due to its overly fictionalized content. The movie takes great liberties with the narrative of the famous World War II battle, failing to accurately depict the harsh and brutal nature of the conflict.

The historical inaccuracies are compounded by the use of Cold War-era US tanks to depict German Tiger II tanks and American Sherman tanks. This visual and narrative anachronism is not just a minor oversight but a critical flaw that distorts the film’s portrayal of the battle. Additionally, the snow and tree settings, which are essential to the story given the winter setting, are missing, filmed in Spain. This misrepresentation of the setting further detracts from the historical authenticity of the film.

Even with its lengthy runtime, the film fails to engage the audience with its purple prose, and many viewers feel that it is as tedious as a documentary with a poor script. The most egregious fault is the depiction of the StG 44 (Sturmgewehr 44), a Nazi Germany assault rifle, without actually firing it on screen. This is an intolerable omission, as the film's focus is clearly on military hardware and the battles that ensued.

Conclusion

These films, while perhaps entertaining in a derivative way, are a testament to the need for filmmakers to tread carefully when handling historical subject matter. Historical movies serve not only as entertainment but as a means of education, and inaccuracy in these depictions can lead to a skewed understanding of our shared past. While it is important to recognize the value of artistic interpretation, it is equally crucial to maintain a foundation of historical accuracy to preserve the integrity of these stories.