Why Non-Member Family Members Are Excluded From Latter-day Saint ‘Mormon’ Temple Weddings

The practice of excluding non-member family members from Latter-day Saint 'Mormon' temple weddings is a well-established tradition within the church. This article explores the reasons behind this policy and offers insights into the process and implications.

The Exclusion Policy

It is indeed true that non-member family members, including parents, siblings, and other close relatives, are excluded from Latter-day Saint temple weddings if they are not members in good standing with a current temple recommend. The requirement for temple recommends emphasizes the importance of participating in the church's rituals and maintaining close ties to the community.

Historical Context and Current Requirements

The requirement for temple recommends has evolved. Historically, one had to be a member for at least a year to participate in temple ceremonies. Today, members must adhere to the Word of Wisdom, a set of health guidelines that includes avoiding alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and engaging in unhealthful sexual practices. Additionally, each member seeking a temple recommend must undergo interviews with their bishop and stake president to ensure their worthiness and understanding of church teachings.

From personal experience, I can attest that members must go through a rigorous vetting process. Personally, I attended a former brother's temple wedding but was unable to enter the temple because I had not yet received a recommend. I drove 3 to 4 states over a period of 12 to 18 hours to witness the ceremony, highlighting the dedication and commitment required by members.

The Exclusion of Members Without a Current Temple Recommend

Even members without a current temple recommend are also excluded. The exclusions are not limited to non-members; approximate members lacking a current recommend are also barred from temple ceremonies. This underscores the church's commitment to maintaining a high standard of worthiness and understanding among members.

The exclusion policy prompts reflection on why it is implemented. Some individuals may wonder if it is 'right' or 'wrong.' In my opinion, the exclusion of family members for not being members with a temple recommend highlights the importance of worthiness and understanding within the church community. This policy ensures that only members who are actively participating in the church's rituals and teachings are granted entry into the sacred space.

The Impact on Weddings

For many couples, the inclusion of family members in temple weddings is a significant aspect of their celebrations. However, the exclusion policy presents a challenge when parents or other family members are not members. Some couples choose to hold non-temple ceremonies, such as a civil marriage, to include family members in their weddings. This approach allows them to celebrate with their loved ones without the limitations of the temple's requirements.

From a personal perspective, if I were to have known in advance that my parents or family members would be excluded for not having a temple recommend, I would have considered hiring a judge to perform a civil ceremony. This would allow everyone to gather and celebrate without the constraints imposed by the temple's policies. While the temple ceremony is a significant event, the joy of family unity and celebration can be equally important.

Alternatives to Consider

While the temple wedding remains a cherished tradition, the high costs associated with these events have led some to consider alternative options. Wedding expenses can run into tens of thousands of dollars, making them expensive and often out of reach for many families. A radical idea is to have a simple temple ceremony with close friends and relatives who are authorized to attend, followed by a smaller, less expensive reception at a local LDS church building. This approach allows the couple to save significant amounts of money for other important life expenses, such as a new car or a downpayment on a home.

By opting for a temple ceremony followed by a local reception, couples can ensure that both religious and social aspects of their marriage are celebrated while keeping costs manageable. This approach benefits everyone, allowing for a meaningful and inclusive celebration of their union.

Conclusion

The exclusion of non-member family members from Latter-day Saint temple weddings is a policy rooted in the church's values and requirements for participation in sacred rituals. While this policy may present challenges for some couples, it also emphasizes the importance of worthiness and understanding within the church community. By considering alternative approaches, couples can ensure that their union is celebrated meaningfully and inclusively, without the constraints of high costs or religious exclusivity.