What Should You Not Bring to a Funeral?

The act of attending a funeral is a solemn and sensitive one, filled with respect and remembrance. While bringing gifts or items to a funeral can be a kind gesture, it is crucial to understand what should be left at home. Here's a look at some common items that are not appropriate to bring to a funeral to avoid causing discomfort or offense.

What Mark Twain Said

Mark Twain famously hilariously suggested, “Do not bring your dog.” This advice is worth considering for reasons both humorous and practical. In a traditional funeral, the environment is meant to be quiet and respectful. A dog, especially one who is unfriendly or untrained, could disrupt the solemnity of the event. Therefore, pets should typically remain home, though some services may allow certain well-behaved service animals.

Excessive Guests

Carrying placards with the phrase "30 prostitutes and a bison" might be a dramatic and humorous exaggeration but serves to highlight the importance of maintaining appropriate numbers in attendance. While it is a social responsibility to attend a funeral, bringing large groups of friends or colleagues can detract from the dignity of the event. Aim to keep the number of mourners to a reasonable level, ensuring there's enough space for everyone to pay their respects and to avoid overwhelming alternative attendees.

Personal Electronic Devices

When attending a funeral, it's essential not to bring your cell phone. Keeping the phone switched off or in silent mode is not enough. In a place where people are situated to mourn and reflect, the constant vibration and lit screen of a cell phone can be a major distraction. It is better to completely turn off the device and store it away. If you absolutely need to use your phone during the service, respect the sanctity of the occasion by leaving it in your car or at home.

Unnecessary Merchandise

Some people mistakenly bring items such as candles, flowers, or donations to a funeral. However, these items are typically sent separately or through the family. Bringing such items to the funeral can be seen as redundant and might even confuse or upset the bereaved family. Instead, consider sending these items directly through the family or support them financially through a designated donation service.

Inappropriate Gifts

Bringing inappropriate gifts to a funeral can further cause discomfort and embarrassment. Avoid bringing humorous or sentimental gifts, as the occasion is not a celebration but a time for mourning and reflection. Instead, if you wish to gift something, bring something that is more sentimental and intended for the surviving family members, such as a photo album or a charitable donation.

Conclusion

In summary, when attending a funeral, it is wise to keep your pet, excessive guests, and electronic devices at home. Leave unnecessary merchandise and gifts to be sent directly by the family or, if you have the means, consider making a donation. Remember, the goal is to support and respect the family and those present at a time when grief and remembrance are at the forefront of everyone's minds.

By following these guidelines, you can pay your respects more effectively and contribute positively to the somber proceedings. If you're unsure about what to do or bring, communicating with the bereaved family can provide valuable insight and guidance.