Understanding the Dynamics of the Golden Child and Scapegoat

The relationship between the golden child and the scapegoat in a family is often characterized by a complex and often toxic dynamic. The golden child, often favored by the narcissistic parent, frequently exploits and abuses the scapegoat, mirroring the treatment experienced by the golden child themselves. This essay explores the motivation behind the golden child's treatment of the scapegoat and the lasting impacts on the family.

Why Does the Golden Child Treat the Scapegoat?

The golden child, raised in a family with a narcissistic parent, often adopts the same abusive behaviors towards the scapegoat. This toxic behavior has several underlying motivations.

Mimicry of Abusive Behavior

One primary reason is that the golden child might have experienced abuse at the hands of the narcissistic parent. Witnessing the narcissistic parent abusing the scapegoat child can lead the golden child to mimic that behavior, seeking to escape from their own abusive situation by taking on the role of the abuser.

Desire for Validation and Acceptance

Another reason is the desire for validation and acceptance from the narcissistic parent. By aligning themselves with the parent's abusive tactics, the golden child hopes to gain approval and acceptance, often at the expense of the scapegoat.

Regaining Power and Control

The golden child may also wish to regain a sense of power and control, which they might have lost due to perceived shortcomings or mistreatment. Abusing the scapegoat helps them reclaim a higher position in the family dynamics.

Material Rewards and Selfish Gain

In some cases, the golden child is even rewarded for their misdeeds towards the scapegoat. This serves as a direct incentive for continuing the abusive behavior and avoiding consequences.

Normalization of Abusive Behavior

Through repeated exposure and encouragement, the golden child starts to view the abuse of the scapegoat as normal. The child internalizes these behaviors, leading to a normalized pattern of abuse that continues well into adulthood.

Real-Life Impacts

The treatment of the scapegoat by the golden child can have a profound and lasting impact on family dynamics. For instance, in a scenario where the golden child and their mother, both narcissistic, together endeavored to hurt the writer, an atmosphere of guilt and exclusion was created. The golden child's abuse of the scapegoat is evident in the following incidents:

The golden child stole money from the family to support her gambling and abandonment issues. The mother stole money from the writer and gave it to the golden child. The golden child's brother exploited the situation, asking for a photograph at a funeral, excluding the writer, and taking an heirloom.

These actions and incidents underscore the pain and complexities faced by those caught in the web of a golden child and a scapegoat relationship. The dynamics are often so toxic that it becomes difficult to find compassion for the golden child, much like handling a rattlesnake.

Conclusion

The relationship between the golden child and the scapegoat is a manifestation of deeper family issues, often rooted in the presence of a narcissistic parent. Understanding these dynamics can help in addressing the complex and often hidden patterns of abuse within families. It is crucial to recognize and challenge these behaviors to promote healthier family relationships and prevent the continuation of cycles of abuse.