Understanding When a Spanking Ends: A Child’s Perspective

Spanking, as a method of correcting behavior in children, has been a subject of much debate. As someone who has experienced both sides—being spanked as a child and possibly administering spankings to one’s own children—I can offer insights into how and when a spanking ends.

How Spanking Ends for Different Children

The termination of a spanking depends on a variety of factors, including the tool used, the method, and the reason for the spanking. For instance, if a child is given a paddling, it typically ends after a pre-determined number of swats. When a parent uses their hand, the spankings usually conclude once the child starts crying and expressing pain in real terms, as opposed to feigned attempts to elicit sympathy.

Factors to Consider

The age, physical sensitivity, and individual temperament of the child significantly impact the duration of a spanking. A child with a particularly low pain tolerance might start crying and crying real tears even with just a few swats. Conversely, a child who is more resilient might tolerate a longer spanking before showing any signs of distress.

When It Stays Effective

A spanking continues until the intended message is conveyed—namely, to serve as a deterrent against future misbehavior. For instance, if a child is being punished for breaking a curfew, the spankings continue until the child is reminded of the consequence of their actions through physical discomfort. Typically, this is sufficient to make the child sit uncomfortably for a few hours, which serves to reiterate the lesson.

Signs to Look For

Monitoring the child for signs that they have understood the lesson is crucial. These signs can be physical, like changes in skin color, or changes in behavior such as the child going limp, kicking less, or their cries shifting from fake to real.

Respecting the Child’s Reaction

Each child reacts differently, and it's important to take into account the child's individual response. Some children may only need a few gentle swats, while others may need a harder and longer spanking to convey the message. The important aspect is to gauge the sincerity of their reaction and ensure that the child has genuinely understood the lesson.

A Personal Experience

From my own experience, both as a child being spanked and as a parent who has spanked my children, I can attest to the effectiveness of this method of discipline. My parents, for instance, often had to spank me long and hard until I cried myself out. Similarly, my daughter, when younger, would sometimes wet herself if left to stand the pain no longer.

Continuing the Conversation

After a spanking, it's important to have an open discussion with the child to ensure they have learned the lesson. This conversation should only occur once the child has calmed down and is in a state of emotional regulation. The purpose is not to rehash the punishment but to confirm that the child understands the reason for the spanking and the steps they need to take to avoid it in the future.

Understanding when a spanking ends is essential for effective discipline. It requires a balance between firmness and empathy, ensuring that the child learns from the experience and avoids repeating the misbehavior in the future.