The Tragic Tale of the Golden Child and Their Nasty Flying Monkey Sibling

Our relationships with our siblings can be some of the most complex and meaningful connections in our lives. Sometimes, these relationships can turn dark, with one sibling being the beloved 'golden child' and the other being unfairly tarnished as the 'flying monkey.' In this narrative, we explore the experiences of those caught in such a dynamic and provide insights from a personal perspective.

Understanding the Golden Child and the Flying Monkey Phenomenon

When a family has a golden child, it often leads to feelings of favoritism, resentment, and a toxic family environment. One sibling is always portrayed as the perfect one, while the others, including the so-called 'flying monkey,' can end up bearing the brunt of familial issues.
The flying monkey is typically the scapegoat in the family, unfairly carrying the blame for everything. They are the ones who are attacked and harassed, even by the golden child. This dynamic can be incredibly damaging and long-lasting, affecting not only the flying monkey but also the entire family ecosystem.

Personal Experiences with the Golden Child

One of my sisters, just like my parents, is a golden child turned narcissist. The other sister, no surprise, is the flying monkey. I made the difficult decision to go no contact with both and I'm glad I did. My life is so much better without having to deal with their endless problems.

While I didn't personally experience a flying monkey sibling, my mother once had one herself. She had three siblings, with one being the golden child. This golden child backed my mother's behavior without question, even when they knew it was wrong. The flying monkey, the scapegoat, faced constant harassment and smear campaigns, even into adulthood. It's a traumatic cycle that never seems to end.

The Role of the Golden Child as a Flying Monkey

It's often misunderstood that the golden child doesn't act as a flying monkey themselves. In reality, the golden child can be just as manipulative, often using their status to manipulate others. They can be the ones pushing the scapegoat back into the family fold, telling them to get in touch with the parent even though they know the truth. This mentality of 'we are family, and my mother would never do that' is twisted and harmful.

My own brother is a perfect example of this. He is my mother's worst flying monkey and is also a golden child. When my mother criticizes my decision to go no contact, he actively works against me. He calls me, yelling and screaming, telling me I am a bad person and that I am going about this the wrong way. He refuses to listen to any of the evidence in my binder, instead siding with the perceived dysfunction of the family.

Conclusion: Breaking Free from Toxic Sibling Dynamics

Understanding the dynamics of a golden child and flying monkey situation is the first step towards breaking free from it. Those in these conflicting roles need to find ways to heal and move forward. Going no contact with those who are toxic can lead to a much healthier and happier life. It's not easy, but it's often the best choice.

When navigating these potentially harmful familial relationships, it's important to communicate with empathy and seek support from trusted friends and professionals. Setting clear boundaries and prioritizing your well-being is crucial, especially in the face of constant pressures from the dynamics of the golden child and the flying monkey.