The Narcissist's Transformation: Do They Ever Glow-up After Being Discarded?

Discarding a toxic friendship can leave you questioning whether the other person will change or simply continue their narcissistic behavior. One might wonder, does a narcissist ever glow-up after being discarded, or do they merely transform their appearance and mannerisms to fit societal expectations? This article delves into the experiences and observations of someone who faced this challenge directly.

Understanding Narcissists

Narcissists are often characterized by their grandiose sense of self-importance, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. However, do these traits ever diminish when confronted with rejection or loss?

A Personal Experience: From Toxic Friendship to Transformation

I had a close friend who exhibited many traits of a narcissist. Their behavior was draining and the relationship became increasingly toxic. Yet, something interesting happened after the friendship ended. My friend seemed to undergo a transformation that baffled me.

Pre-Rejection: The Toxic Narcissist

Before our friendship ended, my friend was unkempt and lived in her own bubble of grandiosity. My involvement was a constant source of drama and chaos. They refused to take accountability for their actions and frequently lied to maintain their facade. Their behavior was reprehensible, but the question remained: would they change if I left?

Transformation Post-Rejection

When we agreed to end the friendship, my friend did not simply?withdraw into themselves; instead, they embarked on a journey of transformation. The changes were subtle at first, but over time, they became significant.

Changing Appearance

The first noticeable change was their appearance. My friend started wearing more expensive and fancier clothes. They would often dress up for casual occasions, like going to a gardening center, where they looked like they were "dressed up for a Christmas tree." Our mutual friends couldn't help but comment on their new, more polished look.

Enhancing Social Status

My friend even took a course that was essentially a finishing school for the middle class. The course covered topics such as attracting middle-class partners, appropriate social behavior, and appropriate ways to discuss clothes and opinions. These actions seemed to indicate that my friend was attempting to elevate their social status.

Suspicions and Concerns

While these changes were initially positive, they soon raised suspicions. The new clothes came with a hefty price tag, and my friend was not employed at the time. Despite claiming to be financially strained, they were spending significant sums of money.

Behavior Changes and Red Flags

My friend also started distancing themselves physically. They began going out more frequently and became friendly with people they had previously shown no interest in or displayed distaste towards. However, this behavior was cloaked in secrecy; she would cover her windows, park her car in different locations to avoid being seen, and avoid eye contact whenever she saw me. This avoidance was unprecedented and concerning.

Conclusion: The Narcissist's Attempts to Mask Reality

It's unclear what triggered this transformation, but it seemed that my friend was putting on a facade to appear more socially acceptable. While the efforts to improve social status were admirable, the underlying issues remained unaddressed. She continued to seek validation and sympathy, and her behavior became increasingly erratic.

Discarding a problematic friend is never easy, but my experience serves as a cautionary tale. While a transformation might seem positive on the surface, it’s crucial to consider the motivation behind changes and the root causes of behavior.

Conclusion: What You Can Learn

So, does a narcissist glow-up after being discarded? While it's possible that they might change their appearance or behavior, their core issues often persist. Understanding these traits can help you navigate situations where you encounter such individuals, ensuring that you build and maintain healthier relationships.

Keywords

narcissist, transformation, discarded friend