The Complex Relationship Between Sansa and Arya: Understanding Their Feelings and Justifications

In the rich tapestry of A Song of Ice and Fire, and its adaptation Game of Thrones, the dynamics between characters are as intricate as the battles fought on the Great Wall. One such dynamic is the relationship between Sansa Stark and Arya Stark. Despite their shared parentage and blood ties, the sisters face a multitude of challenges that lead to differing opinions and feelings towards one another. Let's delve into the reasons for Sansa's apparent dislike towards Arya and the justifications for her feelings.

Sansa's Lying and Protection of Joffrey

One of the primary incidents that fuels Sansa's discomfort towards Arya is the time Sansa lied to the King about Joffrey attacking Arya. This scenario is a pivotal moment that highlights Sansa's protective nature towards Joffrey, someone she barely knows, over her own sister. While Arya's emotional outburst after this is understandable, it is also significant in emphasizing the deep-seated issues between the two sisters.

Fear and Respect

Sansa is not just indifferent or spiteful to Arya; she is also frightened of her. When Arya is involved in a fight, Sansa is surprised, envious, and respectful. This fear stems from the stark contrast between Sansa and Arya. Sansa sees Arya's strong and fierce presence for the first time, and it is a jarring experience. It is clear that Sansa is not a fan of Arya's capabilities, which further fuels her fear and eventual irritation.

The Stark and Tully Heritage

From a broader perspective, Sansa embodies the ideals of the Tully heritage—“Family, Duty, Honor”—and pursues the role of the stereotypical romantic heroine. She is beautiful, dutiful, and often engaged in feminine pursuits like embroidery. However, Sansa is also prone to be overly dependent and passive. On the other hand, Arya aligns more with the Sterk heritage, taking after her aunt Lyanna. She is fierce, independent, and practical, with a much different temperament from Sansa.

Misunderstandings and Bickering

Their contrasting personalities cause a lot of friction in their relationship. Arya views Sansa as pretentious, silly, and vain, while Sansa perceives Arya as childish and too rough for the daughter of a Great House. Despite these differences, neither sister hates the other in the way that enemies do. Instead, their disagreements are typical of sibling rivalry, where they express frustration and irritation when they are angry with one another.

Justifications for Sansa's Feelings

For Sansa, her feelings towards Arya can be justified in several ways. First, Arya's assertiveness and independence challenge Sansa's more passive, dependent nature. Second, Arya's lack of engagement in feminine pursuits and her openness to physical activity may seem inappropriate to Sansa, who values traditional roles more. Lastly, the stark contrast in their actions and behaviors may exacerbate their differences, leading to occasional tension and bickering.

It is important to note that while Sansa does not genuinely hate Arya, she does find her incredibly irritating. This irritation is mutual, and their complex relationship reflects the nuances of family dynamics in a world fraught with political and personal strife.