The Best Advice for People Getting Married: Honesty, Realism, and Preparation

Entering into a marriage is a significant commitment, one that requires careful planning, honesty, and a deep understanding of your partner and your future together. Here are some key pieces of advice to consider before taking that leap.

Find the Right Partner for Your Life

The most important factor when considering marriage is finding someone who loves, respects, and communicates well with you. This person should be trustworthy and committed to being by your side through both the good and the bad times. The alternatives—marrying for convenience or societal pressure—often lead to dissatisfaction and heartbreak. If you approach marriage with the right mindset and the right person, it can be an incredibly rewarding journey.

Attend a Pre-Marriage Seminar

Before walking down the aisle, couples should attend a pre-marriage seminar where the following topics are thoroughly discussed:

How many children do you want to have? What happens if you don't have any children? How do you feel about in-laws? How will you handle finances? How do you plan to grow spiritually together? How do you communicate effectively? Which love language speaks to each of you? How important are weekly dates?

Align Your Goals and Realistic Expectations

Discussing your goals is crucial, particularly regarding having children. If you never had children due to upbringing or had negative experiences, be cautious about marrying someone from a similar background. Alcoholism or financial instability are traits to avoid, as they can be challenging to overcome.

Additionally, there are certain conditions individuals may proclaim that are red flags, such as someone casually stating they are a sociopath or psychopath. These conditions are often incurable, making them unsuitable life partners.

Be Honest and Share Your Realities

Marriage involves honesty and realistic expectations, yet what exactly does that mean? It is essential to share your deepest desires, fears, and past experiences, both the good and the ugly. Discussing difficult topics, such as past relationships, financial struggles, and personal flaws, helps build a foundation of trust and understanding.

It is far better to address issues in the present than to be surprised by them later. Avoid risking the stability of a marriage due to unmentioned past events, such as a "love child" or embarrassing personal incidents from your past.

Marriage is about having a partner who knows your deepest, darkest, and most painful emotional experiences and is willing to keep those secrets for you, as they contribute to a solid and enduring relationship.