Surviving a Slasher Film: A Comprehensive Guide for Martial Artists and Smart Friends

Imagine the scenario: you and your friend are in the midst of a slasher film. Both physically fit and proficient in martial arts, you're also smart and quick. Like many of us, you might be questioning whether you and your friend can survive such a harrowing experience. In this article, we will explore the rules of surviving a slasher film and offer strategies that could save your life.

Three Golden Rules for Surviving a Slasher Film

No Drugs or Alcohol: Stay hydrated and avoid any form of intoxication, as it will only reduce your cognitive and physical capabilities in times of need. No Sex: This rule is not only about morality but also about survival. Engaging in any form of intimate activity might attract the monster's attention and put your life in danger. Main Character or Important Secondary Character: Being central to the story ensures that you don’t become an afterthought. Your demise would likely be shown to provide a memorable conclusion to the film.

Additional Helpful Hints for Surviving a Slasher Film

Stay with the Group: Alone, you are a target. Staying within a larger group reduces the risk exponentially. Group cohesion can also provide a psychological shield against fear and help in quick decision-making. Avoid Saying 'I'll Be Right Back': Rapid movements can attract the monster's attention. If you must leave, do so with a clear plan and communicate it to the group. Heed Warnings: Unexplained voices, warnings from old folks, and signs of danger all point to immediate action. Use this information to avoid potential fatal traps.

What If You’re Not One of the Survivors?

Not all is lost if you’re not among the main characters. Many films decide the fate of side characters through quirkily violent deaths. It is common for background characters to meet a tragic end, often in a humorous or identifiable manner. For instance, some might die by falling down a food disposer and being ground into cockroach food, as one grim fate might have it. But remember, even if you don’t survive, your death will attract viewers and provide memorable content for the film.

Being the Final Girl

If the options are limited to the two of you being female, you'll need to strategize. The Final Girl is a trope in horror films who survives until the end. Since there can only be one Final Girl, you'll need to outmaneuver your friend. Being faster than the other girl might be enough to secure your survival. Speed, agility, and tactical thinking can counteract your friend's martial arts prowess.

Standing Against Our Notorious Creators

Freddy Krueger: Despite martial arts skills, Freddy is a supernatural force. A character amassing knowledge about your methods might find Freddy nearly impossible to defeat without creative and possibly supernatural intervention. Jason Voorhees: Jason is a brute force, and while martial arts can be effective against many foes, his strength means you'll need to be him earlier in the film. Jason's brutality will likely lead to a quick and painful death, no matter your martial arts skills. Michael Myers: Michael Myers is a silent killer who appears in places where you least expect. Evading his ambushes requires not only speed but also keen awareness of your surroundings.

Surviving a slasher film isn't solely about martial arts and intelligence. It's about using every tool at your disposal, from logic and quick thinking to staying with the group and paying attention to your surroundings. Remember, the real test lies in staying alive until the final credits roll.