Should a Husband Live Abroad and Visit Home Only Once a Year for Work?

Introduction

This article explores the complexities of a spouse living abroad for extended periods, focusing on the decision-making process and its impact on the marriage. While some may see this situation as a normal part of life, others might find it detrimental to their relationship.

The Global Perspective

Living abroad while your spouse remains at home is a common practice in many parts of the world. For example, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and the Philippines are among the countries where such arrangements are quite frequent. The primary driver is often the potential to earn significantly more than in one's home country, enabling a partner to fulfill their financial responsibilities and support their family.

Is It Acceptable?

Whether living abroad and visiting home only once a year is acceptable largely depends on mutual agreement. If both parties willingly choose this path and are happy with the arrangement, it can work. However, from a long-term perspective, it may not be ideal for everyone. Personal relationships, financial goals, and emotional well-being are key factors that need to be considered.

The Risks and Challenges

Living apart for long periods, especially if it's for work purposes, can lead to various challenges. These include emotional strain, potential infidelity, and difficulties in maintaining a strong relationship. The speaker highlights the risks and suggests that such arrangements are more likely to lead to extramarital affairs and relationship breakdowns rather than success.

Alternative Approaches

One possible solution is for the spouse living abroad to arrange for the other partner to relocate. This could help maintain a better balance in the marriage and prevent long-term emotional distance. Even if it's a tough decision, it is suggested to prioritize the relationship's health over financial gains.

Case Studies

The article draws from personal and real-life experiences to illustrate the effects of such arrangements on different couples.

Case 1: Dual-Working Spouses

One example is a couple where both partners are working in overseas jobs. They strategically scheduled their work schedules to minimize the separation period. Their children were mostly grown, which made it easier for them to manage their time. They paid off their house in one year and accumulated significant savings, allowing them to meet their financial goals faster. Their strong marriage and similar long-term goals facilitated this arrangement.

Case 2: Long-Term Contractor

In another example, a single contractor maintained a long-term overseas job. He managed to retire at 35 as a millionaire, ultimately moving to Thailand. While this might seem ideal, it also highlights the potential risks of long-term separation, which can impact the relationships and emotional well-being of the partners involved.

Conclusion

Deciding to live abroad for work can significantly affect a marriage. While it may be financially beneficial for one spouse, the relationship needs careful consideration. Mutual agreement, strong communication, and prioritizing the emotional well-being of all parties involved are crucial.

The key takeaway is that while living abroad and visiting rarely might be acceptable, it is essential to weigh all factors and ensure the arrangement is sustainable and beneficial for everyone involved.