Serving a Hard Truth: Seven Years of Deception and its Consequences

It is a common occurrence in the realm of personal issues to witness individuals questioning whether they should reveal an ongoing infidelity to their spouse or partner. When the affair has been lasting for 17 years, the decision becomes overwhelming and fraught with potential outcomes. This article aims to provide guidance on how to approach this complex situation and what potential consequences one might face.

The Aftermath of a Long-Term Affair

When someone has been engaged in an affair for 17 years, it can have a catastrophic effect on the mental and emotional health of the other party. The hurt, disappointment, and betrayal can simmer until it reaches a boiling point, often leading to drastic measures if the truth remains unspoken.

A partner may experience severe emotional distress, to the extent that they could be psychologically wagered. Mental breakdowns or hospitalization may be the only escape from the burden of the cheating partner’s deceit. These impacts underline the severity of long-term infidelity and the ethical responsibility to come clean.

The Consequences of Remaining Silent

While the thought of revealing the truth can be daunting, staying silent is not a reasonable course of action. The potential impact on your partner's life cannot be understated, and it is only fair to be transparent with the truth. However, the gravity of the situation demands that one must be mindful of the emotional turmoil it will cause. The implications are profound and include:

Loss of trust in the relationship

Loss of respect in the eyes of the partner

Potential loss of friends and social circles

Diminished dignity and self regard

Occupation in a life built on deceit

Damage to personal and professional reputation

Possibility of losing the house or joint assets

Legal ramifications, such as separation or divorce

The decision to remain silent can be seen as a form of dehumanization. By withholding the truth, you deny your partner the opportunity to make an informed decision about their own future. You have essentially stripped them of their autonomy and right to dignity.

Breaking the News Ethically

If you decide to come forward, it is crucial to approach the situation with empathy and honesty. Telling your partner that you have been unfaithful is incredibly painful, and they need to be prepared for the fall-out. Here are some steps to take:

Honesty: Be truthful about your actions and their impact on the relationship.

Preparedness: Explain the reasons behind your actions and acknowledge the responsibility of your choices.

Empathy: Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their emotions.

Commitment: Promise to act in accordance with the principles of trust, transparency, and respect moving forward.

Support: Offer to seek counseling or other forms of support to help navigate this difficult period.

Addressing the affair directly, without further deceit, is the only humane way to proceed. It will be a challenging journey, but taking responsibility for your actions is a necessary first step towards healing and moving forward.

Conclusion

While the decision to come clean about a 17-year affair is difficult, it is the ethical and responsible choice. The immediate decision to break up or confess is yours, but you must be prepared for the consequences of your actions. The emotional, personal, and professional ramifications are significant, and should be addressed with empathy and honesty.

Ultimately, the choice to tell your partner the truth about your infidelity is both a test of character and an act of respect. While the process will be painful, it is a necessary step towards rebuilding trust and moving forward.