Respecting Our Service Members: A Guide on What Not to Say

When speaking to a member of the Armed Forces, it is essential to be respectful and considerate of their experiences. Here are some common phrases and statements you should avoid, as well as why they are inappropriate.

Common Inappropriate Phrases

Various phrases and remarks can come across as insincere, dismissive, or even offensive. Here are some of the most common phrases to avoid:

1. "Military's thanks" or "Thanks for your service"

While this can be a kind gesture, saying 'thank you for your service' in a generic and formulaic way can seem insincere. A more heartfelt and genuine expression of gratitude is always appreciated.

2. "You only joined the military for the money"

This statement minimizes the sacrifices and the complexities of their roles, reducing their service to only financial gain. It is important to recognize the diverse motivations and the significant sacrifices made by our service members.

3. "Why should we thank you? You're just doing your job"

Compliments can often backfire, as it may imply that tasks within the military are daunting and avoidable. Acknowledging their contributions and expressing gratitude is crucial.

4. "Can I see your military tattoos?"

This can come across as intrusive, especially if the service member is uncomfortable discussing or showing their tattoos. It is respectful to ask permission before making such requests.

5. "Are you in for the war, or just the peace afterwards?"

Service members come from various backgrounds and may have differing views on war. Imposing personal beliefs or questioning their motivations can be inappropriate and uncaring.

6. "You look tough. Are you a war hero?"

Implying that service is solely about being tough or a 'war hero' can trivialize the challenges and traumas faced by our service members. Acknowledge their service with respect, not just their physical appearance.

7. "Why do you complain? You must be fine because you have PTSD"

This can come across as dismissive of the challenges service members face. Psychological and emotional struggles are real, and each person's experience is unique.

8. "Your family doesn't know what it means to have a service member in the family"

Service members often face emotional and psychological strain on their families. Acknowledging their family's support and sacrifices can be more appropriate.

Respecting without Expecting Agreement

While you may not agree with the military actions or policies, it is important to show respect and gratitude. Here are a few additional points to keep in mind:

1. Mind Your Tone and Attitude

Your tone and attitude can have a significant impact on how your words are received. Be empathetic and avoid any implicit or explicit criticisms of the service member's choices.

2. Do Not Criticize or Question Military Service

Avoid criticizing the military or questioning the decisions made by service members. Recognize that each individual has their own reasons for joining and serving.

3. Show Gratitude and Respect

Always show genuine appreciation and respect for their service. Acknowledge the sacrifice they and their families make on a daily basis.

Final Thoughts

Being respectful and considerate of our service members can make a significant difference in the way they feel supported and appreciated. By avoiding the aforementioned phrases and showing genuine gratitude, we can foster a more respectful and supportive environment for all military members.