Reflections on Life's Moments: What Made Me Question My Choices

Most people assume that the moment which makes you question your actions or choices is tied to significant life transitions, such as job changes, relationship endings, or moving to a new city. However, the events that compel us to pause, reflect, and ask ourselves, “What the hell am I doing?” can often be more mundane but profoundly impactful.

The Break Up That Changed Everything

It was a day that felt like a dream had shattered. She chose someone else, and I finally got a break up. My mind was filled with a plethora of memories, and I found myself in therapy for the first time. I took a variety of medications to alleviate the pain and confusion. Over the next six months, I grappled with these emotions, taking a step back to reassess my life.

After six months, I felt a sudden relief, realizing that I had a lot of life to live without her. The experience taught me that I had lost something that wasn’t mine, but she had lost a precious part of her that was irreplaceable. Sitting in that middle of the night, I laughed out loud at the absurdity of it all. This was the moment when I truly realized, “What the hell am I doing?”

Searching for Fulfillment

Currently, this question pops up in my mind every now and then because I’m still not earning a steady income. While everyone around me seems to be partying, traveling, or living lavishly, here I am, preparing for an entrance test. However, being focused on self-improvement brings a sense of contentment and peace.

I understand that dreams require time, but never give up on them. Remember, it’s never too late to chase your aspirations. I believe in myself, and I know you can too.

A Moment of Utter Hopelessness

One of the most impactful moments occurred when I was 15. My father forced me to babysit for a work colleague. Despite having no experience with children, I found myself babysitting twins who were only two and a half years old, still in diapers. They were a chaotic bunch, and the challenge to get them to go to bed seemed insurmountable.

Troubling myself with half an hour of wrangling and distractions, I felt an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and anger towards my father. In that moment, I made a firm decision: never babysit again, even for $100! As it turned out, the parents arrived late, and I received a mere $5 for my efforts. But that moment was far more significant than the money.

These life moments, whether momentous or mundane, can shake us to our core and prompt us to reflect on who we are and what we are doing. They are the moments that shape our growth and push us towards self-discovery.

Remember, each of us has our own what the hell am I doing? moments. Embrace them, learn from them, and use them as fuel to move forward.