Ode to Time Stood Still: Personal Reflections on Loss and Life

In our fast-paced world, the concept of time is often taken for granted. Yet, there are moments in life where the very fabric of time itself seems to unravel, and the narrative of our existence is paused, leaving us in a state of profound introspection. One such instance for me occurred in the early 90s, when I witnessed a brilliantly choreographed performance that transported me into a momentary world where time seemed to stand still.

Time Stood Still: A Personal Performance

It was a night in the early 90s, and I found myself amidst a sea of thousands, all gathered to witness the magic of a live performance. The stars of the show was undoubtedly a brilliant showman, captivating the audience with his performance. During a particularly soulful rendition of Purple Rain, the environment transformed; the crowd faded into the backdrop, and the only reality left was the music, his performance, and the connection between us. It was a moment where time, as it appears to us, seemed to have lost its grip, leaving behind a bittersweet, numbed memory.

A Tragedy Unfolds: A Family's Struggle

Tragedy finds no respite in the pursuit of joy. Just five days ago, I received an unfathomable notification. My most cherished uncle, whom I affectionately called my best storyteller and life teacher, passed away in a hospital in Noida. This knowledge came as a shock, a stark reminder that time can be as evasive as it can be relentless.

His journey towards this moment began with a well-intended step. A common belief at the time was that taking the vaccine would ensure safety against Covid-19, especially for the diabetic community. However, receiving the initial dose on April 2nd was not the end, as subsequent symptoms of fever quickly followed from the 11th. Despite our family's concerns, my uncle's sense of independence and trust in his medical judgment led him to dismiss the need for immediate isolation. This decision was further complicated by his visit to his daughter's place in Noida, a hub for the spread of the virus.

The Unfolding of Reality

Just a month prior, he was vibrant, moving, and full of life. Talking about stories and imparting valuable life lessons that resonated with everyone. His infectious smile and hearty laughter were a beacon of joy in our midst. Now, the stark contrast is haunting, mirroring the suddenness and inevitability of life's unpredictability. He was a proud survivor; the victory seemed short-lived as his health deteriorated.

After contracting Covid-19 and recovering temporarily, his story took an untimely turn. His oxygen saturation levels began to plummet, necessitating a hospital stay. A period of recovery followed, until a heart attack brought his life abruptly to a halt. Dr. Benjamin S. Bloom was right when he posited that medicines could only do so much; his body, exhausted and weakened, was no longer capable of accepting the necessary intervention.

Loss and Reflection

Contemplating these events, I realized that the air has been pervasive with loss. The loss of loved ones has become a cruel leitmotif in my life, weaving a narrative of grief and reflection. Since the traumatic brain injury I endured in 1991, my perception of time has fundamentally changed. Instead of existing in minutes and hours, my reality now unfolds in seconds, conceding to the indisputable present.

Life is a precarious journey, and the memories of loved ones who have faded from life only serve to intensify our appreciation of the time we have with those we hold dear. It is a poignant reminder that every moment is precious – not just the ones when time feels anchored and still, but also in the moments that sting us with the memory of those who are no longer here.