Navigating the Challenges of Dealing with an Alcoholic Adult Son: A Guide for Parents

When your adult son is struggling with alcoholism, it can be a daunting and heart-wrenching experience for any parent. Whether he is disrespectful, non-compliant with treatment, unemployed, or simply won't leave the family home, the situation can become overwhelming. This guide provides parents with a structured approach to address these challenges, focusing on three key strategies: legal eviction, making his life uncomfortable, and encouraging treatment.

1. Legal Eviction: Clearing the Path for Your Son's Independence

If all else fails and your son is making life miserable in your home, consider legal eviction. This process, which involves hiring a lawyer, can be both practical and necessary. By legally removing your son, you ensure that he respects property rights and your living space. If this is the chosen path, coordinate with the local sheriff and a locksmith to change the locks, effectively sealing off your home.

Key Points:

Engage a lawyer to handle the eviction process. Do not accept rent payments, as this grants him tenant rights. Hire professional help to secure the premises. Report any unauthorized re-entry as a home invasion.

2. Making His Life Uncomfortable: Subtle Changes for Maximum Impact

While legal eviction may be the final step, there are ways to make your son's life uncomfortable and encourage him to find his own place. Over time, minor annoyances can add up, leading to a push for him to leave. Some practical suggestions include hiring a handyman to install a window AC and heater in your bedroom, installing padlocks or deadbolts on your bedroom door, and disconnecting the main house HVAC system.

To ensure you have control over your living conditions, store your food in your room, change your WiFi password to something complex, and avoid sharing your passwords. These steps can create a more comfortable living situation for you while making his presence less desirable.

Key Points:

Install window AC and heater in your bedroom. Implement security measures on your bedroom doors. Disconnect the main house HVAC system. Store all food in your room. Change your WiFi password to a complex one.

3. Encouraging Treatment: A Family Decision

Ultimately, treatment is a decision that your son must make for himself. However, if he continues to refuse, it may be necessary to consider intervention. Approach the topic with care and patience. You can also reach out to local support groups and professional help to guide him towards the resources he needs. Remember, it’s his decision, and you are there to support him through the process.

Key Points:

Talk to your son about the importance of seeking treatment. Encourage him to consider local support groups and professional help. Support his decision, whether he chooses to seek help or not. Stay ready to refer him to professionals if he needs extra assistance.

Additional Measures

Hire a handyman for home improvements, cut off unnecessary expenses, deny financial assistance, and be clear that he will no longer receive support. Additionally, if he's young, consider removing non-essentials like internet and cable TV. By taking these steps, you ensure that you have control over your living space and encourage him to take responsibility for his actions.

Key Points:

Deny financial support and bills. Restrict his access to technology and services. Encourage temporary relocation to a pub or even give him some money to spend there.

Dealing with an alcoholic adult son is challenging, but with a clear and deliberate approach, you can navigate this difficult situation. Focus on legal means, subtle discomfort, and treatment options to create a pathway for your son's independence and recovery.