Life Lessons from Dale: A Tale of Hope and Resilience

My mother’s husband, Dale, appeared at my door at 7 am. He never visits without an invitation, let alone at such an early hour. His visit was accompanied by bleak news: 'There has been an accident. Dale's in Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto. He broke his neck. It doesn’t look good.'

Dale was only 24, a year younger than me. He was tall, good-looking, athletic, fun, and down to earth. He had a wife, a new home, and young children, including a 2-year-old daughter and a 3-week-old son. However, life had other plans.

The Accident and Dale's Journey

Dale endured a C3–4 spinal cord injury, rendering him paralyzed from the neck down. He required a ventilator initially, but his life hung in the balance, ultimately tipped by sheer willpower—Dale's undying desire to live. The medical prognosis had him living for 3-5 years, yet, astonishingly, Dale lived for 19 more.

A Memorable Moment

One of my cherished memories of Dale is from a time when he sat in my mother’s living room, meticulously guiding a VCR, explaining its operation to Mel, Megan, Erin, and David. Mel was 9, Megan and Erin were 7, and David, Dale's son, was only 5. It was 1980s Canada, and VCRs were just becoming popular. Dale, having never set one up before his accident, was a bit of a novice for the children. Our mom, a technophobe, fled to the barn, but the VCR worked flawlessly.

The Life Lessons

Don't Take Life for Granted: Life can be turned upside down in an instant. Dale's accident served as a stark reminder to cherish every moment. Willpower and Resilience: Sometimes, lives are prolonged by sheer willpower. Dale's determination kept him alive for 19 years beyond the initial prognosis. Status Quo and Choice: “I can’t” often means “I choose not to.” Dale, physically incapable of hooking up the VCR, chose to guide the kids to success, demonstrating the power of choice. Kids and Belonging: Children listen better when they feel needed and respected. Dale's interaction with the children highlighted the impact of these qualities. The Myth of Helplessness: Just because someone is helpless doesn't mean they are useless. Dale's involvement in family activities enriched everyone's lives. Physical Capabilities vs. Emotional Strength: Dale's guide to the VCR shared a deeper message: strength and capability often lie beyond the physical limitations. Memories Live On: 25 years later, every time I hear The Hollies sing, "He ain't Heavy He's My Brother," I am flooded with memories of Dale. The emotions associated with this song remain, a testament to the importance of those who once were. The Lasting Impact: As long as someone lives, those who have gone before live on in your heart, their absence forging a deep connection that endures the passage of time.

Conclusion

The story of Dale teaches us resilience, the power of our choices, and the importance of cherishing the moments in life. His story serves as a powerful reminder that even in the face of adversity, there is always hope.