If Sherlock Had to Propose, How Would He Do It?
If Sherlock Had to Propose, How Would He Do It?
Imagine Sherlock Holmes trying to take the plunge and propose to a girl—or worse, writing about it. The results, as we might expect, are a bit more complex than a straightforward "I love you, will you marry me?"
Direct and Analytical
Before proposing: Rather than waste time and avoid directness, Sherlock would first analyze the recipient. He would know the answer already, having deduced it through observation and deduction. Sherlock is very straightforward and would likely just ask: “I love you. Will you marry me?”
Around the Bar and Decorations
Awkward Start: Getting to the actual proposal can be a challenge for even a genius. Sherlock starts by making small talk and awkward attempts at conversation. He tries to engage her in a casual conversation, only to veer off into deductions and observations.
“Eek! So, well yeah, I—i need to say something, um, something important.?Right??-sort of… Anyway, let's start with deductions.”
Observations: He notices her behavior and starts to make deductions based on small details. These observations, though well-intentioned, are awkward and confusing.
“Your thoughts are like a map in my mind palace. It’s contaminated now, angrily. No, it doesn’t make you criminal. Um, did you come by the Queen’s Road? No, those dust marks on your skirt. They’re not the usual sand, but bricks with clay, more preferably from a construction site where that mega mall is being built.”
His observations about her movements and behavior are even more revealing and awkward.
“Why did you stand, no you aren’t leaving. Your foot is directed towards me and you haven’t looked towards the gate or at the watch since you arrived. Definitely not leaving, are you getting uncomfortable?”
The True Feeling Revealed
Confrontation and Confession: His observations are a form of self-disclosure as much as an attempt to be analytical. He confides in her about his feelings, his biological reactions to her, and why these feelings might be incorrect.
“Um, so… did you come by the Queen’s road? No, it’s just that those dust marks on your skirt. Not the usual sand, but bricks with clay—preferably, at the construction site where that mega mall is being built. Oh sorry, I just got… carried away.”
“So, what I was just saying, no wait, why did you stand, no, you aren’t leaving. Your foot is directed towards me and you haven’t looked towards the gate or at the watch since you arrived. Definitely not leaving, are you getting uncomfortable? Um, sorry, I’m not used to these kind of… things. Okay, alright, I think I might… like you. I feel attracted towards you. Slightly attracted to you, and I… Sherlock Holmes, want to ask you… no, wait, why are you thinking? Please stop. You lower the IQ of the entire street. You aren’t nervous. Oh, wait, and for God's sake, stop right there. No, Okay, you won’t stop. Um, so let’s make that quick, will you please… marry me.”
Around the Clock
Instead of rushing into a proposal, Sherlock concludes with a twist of irony. He wonders why she is thinking and if she, in a roundabout way, is lowering his intelligence. This is a common theme in stories involving Sherlock Holmes: he is often aware of his own shortcomings and overanalyzes his own emotions.
Conclusion
Upon reflection, the story shows a humorous and charming side of Sherlock Holmes. The final proposal is a testament to his unorthodox, analytical, and even slightly flustered nature. While he is a master at deduction, even the most logical of men can fall out of sync with human emotions. The proposal concludes with a mix of vulnerability and humorous self-deprecation, which might just touch the heart of a well-deduced and wisely chosen bride.