The Fantasy World of Donald Trump: A Dungeons and Dragons Character Analysis

Imagine a world where Donald Trump steps out of reality and into the Dungeons and Dragons (DD) universe. What would he be like as a character? In this humorous exploration, we'll dive into the types of classes that might fit him, or be dictated by him, and the character traits that might define him as a Dungeons and Dragons player.

Donald Trump: The Dragon Slayer

Donald Trump has famously proclaimed that he would be a Dragon Slayer. This title conjures up the image of a powerful warrior, a knight who rides into battle to protect and save the realm. However, let's focus on the specifics:

Given his affinity for gold and his belief in his own power and charisma, it's no surprise that Trump would want to wear a gold suit of armor and wield a gold sword. He cares deeply about the world and his image, so it's fitting for him to want to be a warrior, spirit, and knight who slays dragons. But would he be able to handle such a quest? The answer lies in his willingness to accept challenges and his capacity for self-improvement.

Paladin: The King's Power Play

In the realms of Dungeons and Dragons, a Paladin is a powerful character who dedicates themselves to a code of honor and righteousness. Trump, seeing himself as a charismatic leader with special powers, would likely choose the Paladin class. However, his shortfalls in upholding his oaths would eventually lead to disenchantment with the role:

As a new player, he might try to gain experience points (XP) to adventure and eventually advance to a second-level character. Strangely, he might become a Sorcerer. This class represents someone who has power but doesn't have to work for it, as it's all inherent within them. Trump's belief in his own power and ability to fix things aligns well with the sorcerer's lazy and powerful nature.

A Rogue in King's Clothing

Given Trump's flair for conning and his desire to be seen as a powerful figure, he would fit the rogue class. However, if we stretch the imagination, he could simultaneously claim to be a King: "The greatest, most wealthy King ever. Simply tremendous!"

But this is precisely where the humor in the character analysis lies. These are not playable roles in Dungeons and Dragons. He would struggle to understand this and in all likelihood, insist that the game should be "fixed" in his favor, much like in reality. The confusion and comedic misalignment of roles would be unmistakable.

A Rogue's Tale: Donal Drumpt

Let's build a character from scratch: Donal Drumpt, a goblin rogue with the charlatan background. This character archetype perfectly encapsulates the essence of a Trumpian rogue:

High Charisma:For charming the "schmucks" (those easily deceived). High Dexterity:To sidestep those who don't fall for his charms. Low Stats Elsewhere:Reflecting his unpredictability and lack of preparation.

Donal Drumpt sports a huge orange pompadour, a potbelly, and wears the finest clothes he can afford. He perpetually tries to shake hands and steal purses while attempting to sell land that he actually doesn't own. This character would embody the Dungeons and Dragons version of a modern political figure, complete with all the wacky and unpredictable behavior.

Conclusion

From a dragon slayer to a king in name only, the character classes that Donald Trump would choose in a Dungeons and Dragons game reflect his ego, his need for control, and his desire to be seen as a leader. Whether he plays a Paladin, a rogue, or a king, his character would be a showdown between his ambition and the realities of the game.

So, if you ever find yourself in a world where Dungeons and Dragons crossover with reality, be prepared for a character that might look a lot like Donald Trump, with all the unpredictability and flair of a goblin rogue.