How to Overcome Shyness and Make Friends: A Guide for Teens

If you're an 18-year-old girl who feels unable to make friends and find escape in novels, knowing how to navigate social interactions can significantly transform your life. Overcoming shyness is a journey, but with the right mindset and strategies, it is entirely achievable.

Start with the Right Books

A great place to start is by reading self-help books on making friends and communicating effectively. These books can provide you with valuable insights and practical tips to improve your social skills. For example, self-help books can guide you on how to approach people and initiate conversations confidently. Additionally, they can offer advice on body language, positivity, and persistence. By following these book recommendations, you can gradually build your confidence in social settings.

Learn from Personal Experiences

Consider this: my father was in the military, which means my family moved frequently. In 13 years, from kindergarten to high school, we moved to 10 different schools. Despite the frequent moves, I always managed to make friends. If I could do it 10 times in 13 years, so can you.

Key Strategies for Making Friends

Here are some practical tips based on personal experiences and advice:

Resolve to Make Friends in Despite Fear: Even if you don’t feel like making new friends, make yourself do it. Consider it an investment of your time, as it pays off greatly. Each friendship takes hours of cultivation but the benefits are enormous. Realize that Most People are Open: While people may not appear to be looking for new friends, being open to making new ones is a mutual process. Take the initiative to approach them and show your interest. Persistence is key; sometimes it takes 6 interactions for a relationship to root. Make a Habit of Saying Hello to People: Develop a habit of greeting people with a smile and using their first names. This is crucial as it breaks the ice and makes them feel special. Use their first name every 6 sentences while chatting with them. Use the Aura Effect: The more people you smile at and greet, the more they will notice you. This will make you appear more popular. Smile and say hello to as many people as possible, even in groups. Compliment Others: Make a point to compliment others with a smile. A simple compliment like "Mary, your hair really looks nice today" can make them feel great and help them see you as someone positive and likeable. Educate Yourself: Read books like "I Hear You" by Michael Sorenson, which offer excellent advice on communication and building likeability. Also, get a self-help book on "how to make friends" as these books are filled with great ideas. Use Enthusiasm: When you see someone, don’t just smile; give them a big enthusiastic smile and an eager wave if they are at a distance. This can significantly increase your chances of making a connection. Keep an Open Inviting Face: Always keep your head up, eyes up, and maintain a soft, friendly look. This shows you are approachable and safe, making it easier for others to interact with you.

Practice and Persist

Remember, persistence is key. Don’t give up. Even if you feel awkward at first, continue practicing. Over time, these skills will become second nature. Keep a journal to track your progress and push yourself to interact more each day. If you feel unsure, "fake it till you make it" until you gain more confidence.

Lastly, cherish every opportunity to connect. Use your 15-minute breaks to interact with classmates and use your phone sparingly. By staying present and engaging, you will naturally build stronger relationships over time.

Embrace a positive attitude and believe in yourself. Your friends and opportunities are out there, waiting for you to make the move. Keep striving, and your life will start turning around significantly.

Remember, if I could do it, you can do it. Achieving confidence in social situations is not only possible but also profoundly rewarding.