Empathy: A Personal Journey from INFJ to INFP

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a significant trait that can vary greatly among individuals. In this essay, I will explore how my understanding of empathy differs based on the relationship with the person involved, and how this perspective has transitioned from being an INFJ to an INFP.

The Universal Aspect of Empathy

My general observation is that empathy is a universal characteristic. It is a trait that can be demonstrated towards strangers at a basic level, ensuring that one functions in society with common courtesy and decency. This baseline empathy allows individuals to navigate social situations and show kindness to those they encounter daily.

Empathy in the Heart of Relationships

When it comes to those who are close to us, such as friends and family, empathy becomes more pronounced. Having a significant amount of empathy for loved ones is a natural and expected part of human nature. However, the case is not always the same for strangers, especially when the information is presented as a vague account of an incident without any concrete details or faces.

Can you relate?"

A Disconnect with Vague Information

It is possible to feel sympathy for almost anyone if their story is compelling enough and you gain some insight into their life, but this can be different when dealing with a vast, impersonal number of victims of a disaster. Numbers can often make one feel indifferent, creating a barrier to empathy. This is not necessarily a lack of connection, but rather a natural emotional response to large, abstract information.

Selective Empathy: A Need for Connection

Empathy can also be turned off for certain individuals based on their actions. For example, it is understandable to switch off empathy for pedophiles, individuals who torture animals and people, and those who have caused significant harm to oneself. The rationale behind this is not only to protect one's emotional well-being but also to conserve energy and mental resources.

Empathy as a Tool

Empathy is not always a constant trait but can be employed as a tool, much like a switch, to turn on or off based on the situation. It is a form of emotional intelligence that allows one to maintain a balance between compassion and self-preservation.

Reflection and Maturity

Broadening the perspective, empathy can evolve with time and maturity. As INFPs (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving), we are known to have deep empathy but are selective in how we express it. It is not about showing no empathy ever, but rather showing empathy selectively and only to those who have earned it. This perspective is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and reflection.

Empathy in Action

For an INFP, the concept of empathy is nuanced. While empathy may not be a constant trait, it is shown selectively to those who deserve it most. Until someone proves themselves worthy of empathy, such as by showing compassion and understanding towards others, the focus remains on withholding empathy to protect one's own emotional state. This is a conscious decision, made with the sole intention of maintaining emotional well-being and sanity.

Empathy, therefore, is not a one-size-fits-all trait but a flexible tool that individuals can use to navigate complex social interactions and emotional landscapes. It is a choice, shaped by personal values, past experiences, and the desire to maintain a healthy emotional balance.