Creative Superpowers Under $20: Imagination Meets Humor

Imagine if your life’s most intriguing superpowers could be purchased for a mere $20. In a world where even a good superpower costs $1.5 million, cheap superpowers become the ultimate game-changer. Let’s explore some humorous and imaginative abilities you could get for a measly $20. But, just how do you make these puns-worthy and quirky powers a reality?

Powers for a Penny

Here are a few playful ideas for superpowers that might just fit into your $20 budget:

Mild Telekinesis

Description: The ability to move small objects like a paperclip or a pencil with your mind, but only when no one is watching.

Cost: $20

Super Speed... for 10 Seconds

Description: The ability to sprint really fast, but only for a brief moment, and only when you’re late for an appointment.

Cost: $20

Invisibility but Only When You Hold Your Breath

Description: You can become invisible as long as you can hold your breath. This might not be a practical superpower in all situations.

Cost: $20

Enhanced Snack Finding

Description: The ability to always know where the nearest snack is located, which could be very useful in a college dorm or during a movie night.

Cost: $20

One-Time Time Freeze

Description: The power to freeze time for exactly 5 seconds, which might be useful for dodging a question or grabbing a last slice of pizza.

Cost: $20

A More Radical Approach

Depends on who’s selling and how quickly you can get to them. Personally, I’d want to adopt an idiotic persona and ask for superpowers I knew were bad and then throw in a question:

"Okay, but what about luck? Is that a superpower?"

If the person says that luck costs way more than $1.5 million, they’re too smart for me, and I leave. If they scoff and say, “Luck! THAT’S what you want!” Then they don’t know what they have on their hands, and I buy it off them for $20.

Then for $20, all you would get is the power to type at 30-35 kilometers per hour. Pretty slow, isn’t it?

Speedy Shoelaces

Another option could be the ability to tie your shoelaces incredibly quickly, say 10 milliseconds. This could come in handy during those early morning rush moments!

The Ultimate Quirk

For $20, you could also have the power to make a single baked bean levitate 2mm off of a wooden table. There’s a catch, though: the baked bean has to be on the table, not in a bowl. It can only be activated when the combined age of everyone in the room is either only your age or ten times your age, and you can only activate this power once per day. Additionally, it can only be used on Mondays and Thursdays with an odd number date, so Americans would need to use a date like 01/21/2021 (dd/mm/yyyy). You also need to activate it between 3 AM and 4 AM in your time zone.

These “powers” lean into humor and imagination, emphasizing the fun and quirky side of superpowers rather than serious abilities. Whether you’re a superhero enthusiast or just someone who loves a good joke, these creative superpowers will surely bring a smile to your face.