Christmas Carols: My Least Favorite and Why

Merry Christmas War Is Over and also I really hate Driving Home for Christmas. That song brings back bad memories of Christmas 2023 when my mail was hacked. These hazy recollections seem to linger, making the holiday season a bit more challenging.

Straying from the Norm

Most Christmas carols celebrate the birth of Jesus, but let’s face it: the timing is a bit off. According to historical records, Jesus was likely born in autumn rather than December. So, as a resident of the UK, living in Gloucestershire, I find it amusing to hear lyrics about shepherds watching their flocks by night, especially during the harsh winter conditions where temperatures can plummet to -6°C with heavy snowfall.

Winter Woes and Shepherd Scepticism

Any seasoned shepherd knows that staying outside in such conditions can be deadly to one’s health. The age-old carol, “The First Nowell,” mentions shepherds under the northern sky, but they wouldn’t be out there by themselves, much less sleeping on the ground. This made me question the authenticity of the lyrics and even made me wonder if I would handle such a situation. Even if one were to try, the discomfort would be extreme. Imagine the chill as you stand there, just trying to get through those lines. It’s not a cozy, festive feeling at all.

Sad Lyrics and a Happy Thanksgiving

“In The Bleak Mid-Winter” is another carol that brings with it a heavy, sad tone. Instead of celebrating the birth of Jesus in joy, this carol focuses on the sadness of the season—a stark contrast to what we usually associate with Christmas. I can’t salute the birth of Christ with a heart full of such darkness. What we need are carols that bring happiness and warmth, like “We Three Kings” or “O Come, All Ye Faithful.” Let’s raise our voices with vibrant songs like “Hallelujah” and brighten up the mood of everyone around us.

Eliminating the Agony

There’s one particular carol that drives me up the wall, and you might recognize it by its tune: “Ring Christmas Bells, Merrily Ring.” I can't listen to this song over and over without tearing my hair out. The repetitive nature of the melody makes it impossible for me to enjoy Christmas music. It’s a real headache.

Irreplaceable Classics

Little Drummer Boy and Feliz Navidad, on the other hand, are songs I can almost forgive. These timeless classics, while wonderful during the holiday season, are usually overplayed to the point of annoyance. But let’s agree to put them on mute or delete them for a while.

Twelve Days Blues

“The Twelve Days of Christmas” is an example of a beloved tradition that can often become tedious. Musically, it’s inane and repetitive, with excessive dialogue that often veers into false religiosity. The only kind of climax in the song comes from the final phrase, “And a Partridge in a Pear Tree,” but it’s quickly followed by yet another verse.

Originality and Parody

Some modern versions of classic carols, like “Baby It's Cold Outside” and the original Jingle Bells and 12 Days of Christmas, have become controversial. However, I can still appreciate the more nuanced and humorous parody versions of these classics without feeling uncomfortable.

Around Bethlehem: Melancholy Melodies

The American tunes of “O Little Town of Bethlehem” and “In the Bleak Mid-Winter” bring unexpected melancholy, causing a sense of despair. Even carols like “Away In The Manger” and “The Christmas Shoes” under their American tunes can evoke a similar feeling. For me, these songs are a bit too somber and can trigger a meltdown rather than a joyous celebration of the Christmas spirit.

A Merry Threesome

When it comes to choosing the most uplifting Christmas carols, “The Little Drummer Boy,” “Feliz Navidad,” and “Silent Night” stand out. These songs can brighten even the greyest day, bringing warmth and happiness to any heart.

In conclusion, while Christmas carols are meant to bring joy and celebration, not all of them resonate with us the same way. For me, some bring back unpleasant memories, while others trigger sad emotions. But there is still a happy place in this winter sky, filled with melodies that bring light and warmth, just like the ones I mentioned above.