Breaking Gender Stereotypes: Embracing Boys Who Like 'Girl Toys'

It's the people who have been socially programmed to separate male and female desires and tastes that have such problems. Young children are using their natural instincts and curiosities in choosing their play things and activities. More people should be like young children - excited about and curious with the things and ideas they come in contact, even when the items and thoughts are not what society might constantly return to or repeat like hobbies, talents, favored fishing spots, or DVD movies, sports activities and etc.

A Personal Experience: My Nephew's Journey

My nephew is three years old. He loves princesses, Batman, big trucks, jewelry, and my makeup kit. When he dresses up, he likes to put on a Belle from Beauty and the Beast gown and a Batman mask. Sometimes he asks me or my brother, his dad, if it's okay to pretend to be a girl hero like those he sees on TV. We always emphatically tell him yes, he can pretend to be anyone he wants. It breaks my heart that he even feels like he should ask. Or that he comes home from daycare and asks what things are for boys and what things are just for girls.

As a child, I pretended to be Batman too – not Batgirl. I pretended to be a Ninja Turtle. I rarely pretended to be any kind of female character because they never did anything interesting or important, certainly not the way boy characters did. That's changed now.

I love that my nephew sees the contributions of men and women as being equally interesting. I never want him to start seeing one as more valuable than the other. Children learn these things through play. The more he plays with the ideas of men and women both being valuable and the more he understands that his opinions don't have to be shackled to sexist ideas about what men 'have to do' or what men 'can't do', the better.

Exploring Gender-Nonconforming Toys

Children want to explore life. They aren’t born with pre-set prejudices about anything. So a boy who likes "girl toys" "girl stuff" is curious and exploring toys and stuff that have traditionally been girls' toys. These boys might be fitting into the limitations placed on girls in terms of what they could do. Kids are role-playing much of their active free time. So the boy could be playing a Velociraptor this weekend and a 'ranger' on Wednesday afternoon. He might be trading those 'damn' My Little Ponies, watching MLP videos, putting on hilarious makeup with the girls from next door, or playing games online where the players are all animals of uncertain gender or machines. If a boy wants ballet class instead of soccer, both are active body training. Why should it matter if more girls do ballet than boys?

We encountered some adults who made comments about a pile of tiny plastic fruit, vegetables, baskets, and whatnot that the kids were using for a 'farmers' market and 'restaurant'. Stupid adults thought it was unusual that my son wasn’t playing exclusively with 'boys' toys' like metal dump trucks. Another adult thought it was 'strange' and 'unusual' that my 9-year-old male was willing to patiently play little kid board games with her 4-year-old while her 9-year-old was in time out – it was 'normal' for girls. Therefore it was abnormal for boys.

The few things that are absolutely gender-specific mean nothing to children until adult society informs them. Puberty naturally nudges kids into sorting out behaviors into male and female roles. Boys with preferences for "girl stuff" do need some awareness about possible bullying similar BS before they encounter it. But otherwise, we’d all be better off with less gender and other stereotyping.

Embracing boys who like 'girl toys' is about understanding that all children should be free to explore their curiosities without fear of judgment or ostracization based on gender norms. It's crucial to support these children in their interests, regardless of what they might be perceived as 'normal' for their gender. Encouraging open-mindedness and acceptance can help our children grow up to be more empathetic and inclusive individuals.